Posts Tagged ‘Robert A. Heinlein’

State of the Union: Still reasonably united?

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

I’d have to say so. At least, when last I looked, the “red states” have not seceded after the President’s State of the Union Address. Although, it is scientifically possible that the combined mass of all those Republican butts reluctantly being hauled out of their seats at those awkward, “Oh, damn, he said something even WE have to cheer for,” moments may have adversely affected the Earth’s gravitational pull… paging Dr. Emmett Brown?

My fellow Americans: I’m a Libertarian. I want all but the barest, necessary minimum of government to wander off, get lost, end up with its picture on a poster at WalMart and, at most, maybe help us find Amelia Earhart’s bones to bring some closure while it is out there wandering the wilderness. Oh, alright, also to get my Netflix movies here on time and keep the jerk next to me from blowing up my plane with a fuse in his underwear, shouting “Allah il akbar,” which of course we all know translates as, “Where in God’s name are my six-ounce Dixie cup of Sprite and half-ounce micro-pouch of Planter’s peanuts?!”

Because beyond much of that, postal service and “provide for the common defense”, the United States Constitution says the federal government can’t do a damned thing. Don’t believe me just because I say so — go back to your eighth grade textbooks and read the ninth and tenth amendments; I’ll wait. (Better yet, just Google them — it’ll be faster.)

A bit jarring, isn’t it, when you look at the limits to government that were built into the Constitution by Thomas Jefferson et.al. (plaintiffs) and then look at what we have today (”Reality Television Shows”, class action defendants). If the growth of American government had followed any logical path we could now legally execute, at a minimum, Simon Cowell.

Alas, I am handicapped by being at heart also a pragmatist. To the extent that government has metastasized its cancerous self to our vital national organs, if I’m given a choice of those cancers, I’ll bloody well exercise that choice. Did so in November 2008, as I recall. And for the first time since I reached voting age in 1981, my guy won. Not only that, he thanked me and the other nine gabillion voters by text message that night while I was at a Metallica concert. Laugh if you must, but I thought it was a nice touch.

Let’s face it — since the late Harry Browne in 2000, voting Libertarian at the presidential level has been like digging a swimming pool with a soup spoon. (Will the heir of Ron Paul please stand up? You are needed nine years ago.) After a father-son team of Republicans who forgot that it’s not a good idea to give raccoons the job of guarding the pantry, separated by eight years of, “Okay, maybe not so bad when he keeps his pants on”, along comes this guy making a lot more sense in terms of getting government, if not out of our lives, at least getting it to function somewhat more properly and demanding some repayment from the raccoons. Think about that — the Democrat made more sense to a card-carrying Libertarian with a three-digit I.Q. than the Republican did! That should scare the living hell out of the GOP or, at the very least, give John McCain a nasty case of heartburn.

So, you may have noticed that we voted this guy in, and last night he gave his first State of the Union address. Seeing as how I have not been able to stomach one of these since Ronald Reagan, I call it good. But my new friend Mel wrote something very interesting last night: “I refuse to watch any political speech/debate/commentary. Give me a transcript, let me read it for myself and I’m good. Just stay off my TV screen.” Until recently, those could easily have been my words, and I actually came close to giving last night’s address that very treatment.

However, I decided otherwise and found myself not only listening closely, but hearing even more sense coming out of this guy. The criticism he takes for “making all the right noises” and so on seems — to me — to be misplaced. Isn’t that exactly what we’ve all been demanding? It sure as hell is what I’ve been wanting to hear.

Robert A. Heinlein said, “Common sense isn’t.” Yet for the first time that I can recall, my president asked for that very thing from Congress. Sad that the mere request is refreshing — and I certainly don’t expect the actual result — but for now, it is very good to know that my president can even entertain the very concept.

Well, it was forty years ago today, Colonel Armstrong blew the world away…

Monday, July 20th, 2009

Why is July 20th not a national holiday in the U.S.? It’s the day our men Neil and Buzz took “one small step for a man” and walked out onto the face of The MOON, for the love of (the) God (of your choice)!

It was the day the Soviets found out they lost the Cold War!

It was the day everyone learned, whether they realized it at the time or not, that what Robert A. Heinlein asserted in the 1950s was absolutely spot on: the single most important military fact of the 20th century was that the first nation to reach the moon could dominate our planet by posessing the very simple ability to lob an ample supply of rocks at any spot on earth at will, using a free gravity well. (By the way and in case no one has noticed, we haven’t.)

To my international friends — has it ever occurred to you to wonder what this planet would be like if the Soviets had beaten us to the moon??

To my mom — thank you for waking me up to make me see it against my (then childish) will. I was six years old at the time, and I’ll gladly take the memory to my grave. Walter Cronkite wiping tears… (sniff). It kills me that he left us just two days shy of this monumental anniversary.

To my dad, a.k.a. Grampa Sailor — thank you for leaving me the writings of R.A.H. in loco parentis. We dare to dream like he did; thanks for sharing that with me, especially as our schedules didn’t quite mesh.

And to every conspiracy theorist blithering idiot who insists that the lunar missions took place on a soundstage somewhere in the desert — I sentence you to life imprisonment inside your own moronic head.

(The above is a slightly edited/modified version of my post from this day in 2006.)