Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

So, does it make much sense to bitch about Facebook here?

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

No. Not ever. And if I ever actually do so, someone slap me. You get what you don’t pay for.

However, I wanted to simply pay a bit of tribute today and am being thwarted over there. Seems you can’t link to a heavily-trafficked YouTube video without “captcha” interference. Not today, anyway. Goddam computers (grumble, snarf…) Yet my revenge satisfaction lives here, thanks to embedding code!

But this isn’t about that. Another legend of music died yesterday.

When this news crossed my screen on St. Patrick’s Day, I was not prepared to look. As in, insert index fingertips into ears and chant “LALALALALA” as necessary. When I was five years old in Monrovia CA, this incredibly great song by The Box Tops was one of the most notable of the approximately seven songs that somehow penetrated a wall of Beatles during any given hour on 93 KHJ…

RIP, Alex Chilton:

UPDATE: RIP also to my fellow Santa Barbarian Fess Parker. Dang, it’s like last year all over again.

Welcome to your “New Facebook”!

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

“Welcome to your new, simplified home page”, they said. I say our lives are being unfairly affected! They are being completely stuffed up by the Facebook upper class trying to make it look as though they’re doing something worthwhile. Well, we say enough is enough!

This is crap! This is a load of bollocks! How dare they foist this upon the masses? I say we rise up! Rage against the machine, by God! We will NOT stand for this load of shite! We shall slam into the streets in mobs and make our voices heard… hold on, my phone is ringing and therefore playing The Clash in my pocket just now…

“Hello, Nigel. WHAT did you say? Facebook is a free, advert driven service? Get OUT! Seriously? But I was just working on a post, and about to go into something brilliant like, ‘the revolution will NOT be podcast’ when you rang up! I had the masses right in my hand and ready to demand their money back! And now you tell me that no one has paid a cent to Facebook but their advertisers? Bloody hell! You took the wind right out of my sails with that, mate… What? But I can speak the language, you tosser… Right, give Angela our love as well…”

Ahem. Sorry, I had to take that call. I’ve just been reminded that I’m not an angry time-travelling London punker from 1979.

Carry on.

This is the title of the post where I tell you about another post…

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

…which is absolutely brilliant and which I will get to shortly. All this came about when, on Facebook, yet another of those smarmy opinionated “status updates” came around, this one in particular, for the fourth time in three days:

“Shame on you America: the only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment – yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations. 99% of people won’t have the guts to copy and repost this as their status…”

I have no strong feelings on what’s expressed here — donate or not as suits you; makes no more difference to me than whether you put ketchup on your baked potatoes and dip your fries in sour cream. But the arrogance contained therein — shame on everyone in the country who had nothing to do with producing or airing that telethon? Piss off, mate! — galls me just to the point of my sending this out on Facebook:

“Shame on you, Facebook users: far too few of you are composing semi-thought-out positions on potentially divisive issues and force-feeding them to your friends list on a daily basis. 94.7% of people won’t have the temerity to copy and paste this, or be able to define ‘temerity’ without looking it up.”

Which, if you care to look (my Facebook profile is the first under “Links” in the right sidebar here and I will friend anyone who tells me in their request that they got there from here), got more than a few humorous responses. The best of these came from the also brilliant Lairbo, who instead of being humorous himself merely said, “You might like this.”

That link will take you to the aforementioned brilliant blog post, authored by Chris Clarke, which in my opinion is the best thing I’ve read this decade (yes, I’m aware of the date). Make sure you read at least a portion of the dozens (hundreds?) of comments — many are as good as the post itself! By the way, Lairbo says the credit for the find goes to his friend Ed Hall. And since it was “frontpaged” on Fark last night, you may be seeing it elsewhere.

I think I’ll be buying Chris Clarke’s book on the basis of that post alone.

(Finally, a footnote: Also gleaned from Mr. Clarke’s blog was knowledge of a blog traffic counter that is new to me, and now to this blog, and which is — now — visible to you fine folks. It’s down at the bottom of the right sidebar.)

Closing a decade with Facebook

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

I like to think that my friends are a fairly diverse group. Certainly seems to be the case with my Facebook friends. Here is a status update from my good friend in South Africa, not 30 minutes old:

“As the first decade of the 21st century draws to a close and we reflect on the 10 years past, I can say without fear of contradiction that the events of the 11th day of September 2001 changed all our lives forever. We need to put all the bad things behind us as we face the next 10 years and so I wish all my dear friends a prosperous 2010 and beyond. Happy new year.”

The very next thing to appear from another Facebook friend, within five minutes of the above, was this:

“WHAT A DIFFERENCE a new mascara can make!!!!!!!”

They keep saying diversity is good. I’m inclined to agree, otherwise I couldn’t enjoy the laugh I am now having at the above ridiculousness ironic juxtaposition.

FML = HAR!

Friday, December 4th, 2009

Rarely, if ever, do I find mirth in the suffering of others. I am way too often blindsided by attuned to the “human condition” to be that mean-spirited. Thus, it is much more in the spirit of, “Man is the animal who can laugh at himself”, that I offer the following. Most of us know what the TLA (Three-Letter-Acronym) “FML” means. If you don’t yet, well, this blog does not do F-bombs but “ML” means “My Life”, so do the math and hope to never see it used by one of your kids in a Facebook update.

Here now are the traditional three entertaining examples:

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady’s ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

Then we have this:

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people (sic) having sex in the women’s washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

And lastly:

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples’ comments and find out that it’s his daughter. FML

As with textsfromlastnight.com, the addiction factor is high. Unlike that site, however, so is the potential emotional benefit. You might laugh, you might cry, but you WILL learn that you are not alone in this slag heap of what we call “humanity”. And you might even learn that, all things considered, you’re not so bad off. I certainly did.

What a weird and wonderful week!

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

So much so, I’m resorting to alliteration to title this. Sure, why not?

It was odd enough to get a call from Woody when he knew I was working, but then to have him ask, “Have you heard who died?” was definitely off.

“Yeah, Farrah Fawcett. I heard hours ago. Not exactly unexpected.”

“No, man — Michael Jackson is dead…”

Thus the passing of the hottest blonde of my adolescence was utterly eclipsed. Happens, I suppose. As for which affects me most, well — I cut my teeth on Jackson 5 albums, loved them, owned every one before I owned a Beatles album and my taste in music began to mature. But I certainly never gazed reverently at my bedroom wall’s poster of him and his pokies, I can tell you that!

Another major loss: the world’s best sidekick ever, Ed McMahon. How many of us forgot he was a Marine fighter pilot in WWII? For shame. My very funny friend Lairbo, whose website The Antfarmer’s Almanac has had a link over there on the right for years now, wrote a haiku I love in his honor:

Ed slides down the couch
Next guest is the Grim Reaper?
You are correct, sir!

(That haiku, along with many others from Lairbo and his contributors, can be enjoyed at his other website, Celebrity Death Haiku.)

Enough with the weird. The wonderful part of the week has been reconnecting with many of my old Santa Barbara crew on Facebook, folks I lost touch with most of a quarter-century ago. And then seeing them reconnect with each other. Too damn cool!

I could write more on that subject, but I must now earn my title as “One of Only Five People in All of Colorado Who Knows the USA Has Just Kicked Off Against Brazil in the Confederations Cup Final” by actually watching the match. You know, that sport the rest of the world calls “football”.

But let’s not skip the inauspiciously weird beginning to this week: RIP to North America’s Premier Amazingly Loud Pitchman, Billy Mays. I’ll work on his haiku after the match. For a proper tribute, I should probably type it all in caps.

Mind your manners, Facebook users!

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

(Finder’s fee goes to crazedfemale of the FAD Forum)