Welcome to your “New Facebook”!

“Welcome to your new, simplified home page”, they said. I say our lives are being unfairly affected! They are being completely stuffed up by the Facebook upper class trying to make it look as though they’re doing something worthwhile. Well, we say enough is enough!

This is crap! This is a load of bollocks! How dare they foist this upon the masses? I say we rise up! Rage against the machine, by God! We will NOT stand for this load of shite! We shall slam into the streets in mobs and make our voices heard… hold on, my phone is ringing and therefore playing The Clash in my pocket just now…

“Hello, Nigel. WHAT did you say? Facebook is a free, advert driven service? Get OUT! Seriously? But I was just working on a post, and about to go into something brilliant like, ‘the revolution will NOT be podcast’ when you rang up! I had the masses right in my hand and ready to demand their money back! And now you tell me that no one has paid a cent to Facebook but their advertisers? Bloody hell! You took the wind right out of my sails with that, mate… What? But I can speak the language, you tosser… Right, give Angela our love as well…”

Ahem. Sorry, I had to take that call. I’ve just been reminded that I’m not an angry time-travelling London punker from 1979.

Carry on.

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5 Responses to “Welcome to your “New Facebook”!”

  1. Diva says:

    OK, that was brilliant. I have to hate you for it on principle, but it was brilliant nonetheless. LOL

  2. Diva says:

    Been thinking about this for a few hours now, and have had to backtrack myself a bit. We may not pay for facebook, ’tis true, but that’s actually a bit of a straw man. It doesn’t matter if the product is free or fee-for-service – if it doesn’t work well and people don’t like it, they will stop using it. If the user base diminishes significantly, the paid advertising goes away because there’s no audience anymore. If the paid advertising goes away, the only one left to be hurt is the product creator/distributor. So, when they piss off, annoy, or ignore their consumer base, they are hurting only themselves.

    I may not pay for their service, but I AM their customer. Nobody begged for a free service; nor was facebook forced to provide their work for free. That was their choice of business model. They made the decision to make it advertising-driven. However they provide their service, we are still their customers and if they want to stay in business, they need to listen to us.

  3. Clay says:

    I’m tempted to say you’ve maybe given it too much thought, dear. Remember, because I too joined the “this sucks” cry, I’m also poking fun at myself! ;-)

  4. insomniac says:

    what are we going to do now?

    messing with my frontpage’s not
    a thing with which you screw
    ‘less you’re working for the Facebook!
    when your messages are filled with ads
    then maybe they’re owning you
    and you’re working for the Facebook!

    Kids and oldsters glower
    ‘neath its awesome power
    hard to refuse it
    Means mixed up with ends
    (i got 10,000 firends?)
    make a guy ‘lose it’!

    (sorry got to finish later…)

  5. insomniac says:

    lookin’ up old friends ,when there’s time to spend
    working for the Facebook
    you thought they were all fools, when they back in school
    now you’re looking through their Facebook
    cheerleaders and jocks are there
    now how are they doin’?
    assume they’re all telling lies
    an eternal reunion!

    in these days of intrawebbic ads
    we’re all working for the facebook
    and luddites are far and few
    if we really knew
    that they’re really on Facebook
    (it won’t be long…)

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