Unlike my earlier post, I don’t have a major gripe to address regarding baseball announcers nor will any manatees be in harm’s way this time (well, no more than they normally are, anyway).
But my friend Barb alerted me to this, as she put it, “copycat photo” and I feel it deserves a post of its own. Inspired by my posting of Paula’s pic with her guy and the Stanley Cup, Barb’s recent excursion to Citizen’s Bank Park resulted in the following act of goofiness she had to explain to her companions devoted fandom with the Commissioner’s Trophy:
I just wish that our picture of Lester, The Dude and me with the Stanley Cup nine years ago wasn’t trapped on an ancient Mac that I can never seem to get around to taking to my local computer folks to mine it for that pic and a lot of other stuff, including the first draft of my novel. I promise to get it done some time before The Grrl (who was too young to take to our encounter with the Cup) graduates high school. Considering that she’s graduating middle school this week, that should give me enough time.
By the way, Barb, this demonstration that our friendship transcends any sports grudges I hold rivalries we share means that at the first opportunity we get, lunch is on you. Yes, I’m aware that the Phillies really just got even with the Rox for their sweep (!) in ‘07. But seeing as your guys committed the more recent offense…
Please be advised that every last one of you sounds like an utter moron whenever you say “Stanley Cups”, as if there are more than one. Contrary to what was reported on ESPN this morning, Mark Messier did not “win five Stanley Cups”. He won THE Stanley Cup FIVE TIMES!
Every time one of you dipsticks refers to the Stanley Cup in the plural, a cruise ship mows down a manatee.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
(Photo courtesy of, and featuring, my Pittsburgh friend PVezz with her man and the Cup on the ice at [soon-to-be demolished] Mellon Arena some time after the Penguins’ win of the Cup last year.)
As the Colorado Avalanche opened up their improbable playoff run last night with a 2-1 win over the San Jose Sharks, I noticed something I think is worth mentioning…
Attention, San Jose Sharks fans: Not only does it sound stupid when you chant, “LET’S go SHAR–aarks!” because you’re trying to stretch one syllable into two, but it also sounds like you’re chanting, “LET’S go SHAR–ARTS”. Please be advised.
Oh, if anyone is wondering how a playoff run can be “improbable” after only one game, I’ll clarify — according to nearly every talking head going into this season, this team is way too young and immature to have any business being in the playoffs. Now they at least have temporary possession of home-ice advantage.
Neener!
(Also, would someone at Altitude TV please show Kyle Keefe a map of California? Twice last night in an otherwise excellent post-game show he referred to San Jose as being in southern California. Oops.)
Now that Mizzou is out of the tourney, I couldn’t care less about the rest of it. I’ll be more heavily invested in spring training baseball, to be honest. So I not only enjoyed this guy’s rant, I actually kinda get the same feeling.
Attention, NCAA — it has come to this blog’s attention that you have trademarked the above phrase. You are hereby invited to come after me for using it; this blog could certainly benefit by that sort of attention.
Okay, on to my point: it was pointed out to me this morning that the greatest coach ever, Mr. John Wooden, who also happens to be a font of great quotes and wisdom such that Ponce DeLeon should have been looking for him instead, will celebrate his 100th birthday in October. But it would not make a lot of sense to wait until October to seek to get mileage out of honor this great man’s wisdom, because this is the month when the NCAA Tournament, also known as “March Madness” (neener!) happens, and even Coach Wooden might have trouble competing with the World Series, with which my use of that phrase Bud Selig and Major League Baseball are invited to consider themselves similarly taunted.
So this blog will seek to get mileage out of honor this great man’s wisdom by featuring a series of his quotes through the remainder of this Month Of March Madness. This is today’s:
“You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one.”
In this blog’s opinion, a just universe would allow this man to share his wisdom for another 100 years.
On Wednesday, the New York Daily News ran a piece on how Electrolux — yes, the same outfit that made my grandmother’s clunky old vacuum cleaner, which looked impossibly ancient even in the 60s — is planning on giving us the kitchen of the future, called “Heart of the Home”. If they pull this thing off, it’ll be completely insane downright revolutionary. Not to mention it’ll piss off just about every cabinet and cookware maker on this planet and maybe others.
Come on, did anyone really think I could choose otherwise?
Please — much as we Broncos fans loathe because he’s killed us for years now admire the class act and surgeon-like quarterback precision that is Peyton Manning, I think you’ll find most of us hopping on “The Streetcar Named ‘Who Dat?’”. Mainly because, hey — Peyton got his already! Mo-om! Peyton’s hogging all the cookies!
No, it’s really more like this — we love the underdog when our dog isn’t in the hunt, and the Broncos very much benefited from this feeling from all around the country if not the world when they wore that hat in 1996-97 against the “Hey, Brett got his already!” Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl XXXII. Maybe not so much the next year against the never-been-there-before-or-since Atlanta Falcons, but Hah! That didn’t matter! Woo Hoo!! REpeat!! John Elway retires a champ!!! be that as it may, time for Broncos fans to pay it forward. This blog hereby does — a Mile High Salute to ya, Who Dat Nation!
We expect etoufee in return.
(PS: For any New Orleans fans to whom the Super Bowl staple “guacamole” is an alien substance, I have a good recipe. Finding avocados down there, though, you’re on your own. Try asking your produce people for “alligator pears”; it might help.)
Feminine hygiene product jokes aside, there are still some things you may want to consider. Here is some pretty funny consumer guidance for your edification.
